A Deep Breath and a Heartbeat
by Ali-Chan1
Summary: Edward doesn’t understand their relationship. The complete and total dependency on another being. He fears for their separation. He knows that if they were to lose one of them they’d lose them both. *Jalice* Right before Bella arrives in Forks.


Well it's that time again!! Christmas present posting. I know I haven't posted anything in a year – since Christmas presents then. Life's been insane with moving and trying to finish up my original that I'm working on. Which leaves little time for fanfiction (and when the main fandom I write for is currently crap to watch that leads to little inspiration). Anyway this is my gift to Elle, who shares my unending love Alice and Jasper. Merry Christmas love!! I'm glad you enjoyed it!!

Happy New Year Everyone!!

Alice and Jasper were different.

Sometimes Edward thought they were the hardest to live through. To watch interact and be reminded of how alone in this world he was. Sometimes he convinced himself that he had watched the other two unfaltering couples in his life come together so that made it easier.

He'd watched Esme and then Emmett come in and complete the family members he loved. He had seen Carlisle and Rose exist without their other halves. Carlisle had existed longer in this world without Esme then with her. Certainly she made him a better person but he had, and could, exist in this world without her. Edward had seen it. The same could be said tenfold for Rosalie and Emmett. Rose was difficult to handle on a good day and Emmett managed to even her out.

That's what it was. Esme and Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett. They balanced each other out. Each could exist without the other but they were better together.

Then there was Alice and Jasper. Writing their relationship off as different because he hadn't seen it develop would be altogether to easy. He knew their pasts better, almost, then they did. Knew they existed for decades without one another just as the rest of his family had.

Edward had never enjoyed being able to read the thoughts of his family members. Loathed knowing that Emmett took more offense to Rose's barbs then he let on. And knowing that Esme and Carlisle sometimes had differing views on what was best for their family involuntarily stuck him in the middle of his parent's argument.

But mostly things were out in the open. Carlisle and Esme ultimately consulted everyone in matters of the family. And Rose and Emmett had never been quiet, not when it came to when their fought _or_ made up. Emmett would only allow Rose to push him so far before he'd let her and everyone in the house know how he felt.

Alice and Jasper were different. So much of their relationship was unspoken. Silent. A soft touch and a shared glance spoke volumes.

He'd watched them since they day they had arrived. Noticing things that now, years later, he's sure the others haven't even picked up on. Like the way that Jasper's jaw would clench when he could sense the change in Alice mood that indicated a vision. Or the way Alice always made the smallest physical contact with Jasper when she can see his willpower waning. And then always, always, the way their eyes locked after. No words necessary, the family continuing on around them unaware.

Not gifted with the curse of knowing the most intimate of thoughts.

It was hard always being so acutely aware of the slightest change in anything in the house. If even unconsciously Alice reaches out a hand Jasper's is there to take it and Edwards is as aware of that as if she had thought to take his hand. All of their movements are done with very little thought and Edwards an expert on it. They move around each other and together and they don't even realize it.

Jasper a step ahead of her at the mere possibility of a threat. Alice a step closer if a human scent gets too close.

Sometimes he can't help but wonder what would happen if they were forced to exist without the other. Every time he comes to the same conclusion.

They couldn't.

This isn't because he's never seen them apart for more then a period of seventy-two hours. It's because they exist as one. A deep breath and a heartbeat.

In theory one could exist without the other. But not for a purpose. One meant nothing without the other. The lungs could not sustain themselves without fresh blood. One without the other was useless.

He doesn't understand their relationship. The complete and total dependency on another being. He fears for their separation. He knows that if they were to lose one of them they'd lose them both.

Alice and Jasper are different.

And that's what he wants.

More then anything he wants to have that love for someone. The kind of love that is all consuming and all that mattered. Something he would never experience in Forks population 3,120 humans, seven vampires. It was unlikely if not impossible.

Sometimes he thought of leaving Forks. Leaving his family, where he often felt like an awkward seventh wheel. Leaving would bring no guarantee. He could never do what Carlisle had done, nor was he gifted with the power of sight like Alice had been. Her first vision had been of Jasper. No, the only one who may understand would be Jasper, he had existed eighty-five years without Alice. Had he even realize that he had been missing something in all those years?

Briefly he thinks about asking Jasper about it when they get home but immediately dismisses the idea. There were no secrets between Alice and Jasper and the question would worry Alice.

As if she wasn't worried enough as it were.

It had been two weeks since their last hunting trip and it was pushing Jasper too far. Since they'd gotten in the car for school Alice's thoughts had been occupied with searching the future for any danger.

_Edward_. He'd been so lost in his own thoughts that he actually looks up when Alice thinks his name.

Her face is creased with a smile, she's laughing at something Emmett had said and the way Rose had reacted. Her thoughts contradicted her expression. It's not a single formed thought so much as a jumble of fears all mixed together. He knows that she's searching the future for their every movement.

If they waited here, in the parking lot, until class would that reduce Jasper's temptation or should she just take him home? Would that undercut his confidence? She trusted him and she didn't want him to take the suggestion the wrong way. Was she putting them all at risk to avoid a minor quarrel with her husband?

Jasper's hand finds hers and their eyes connect.

The wave of calm that settles over the five of them alert Rosalie and Emmett that they no longer have an audience. "What's going on?" Emmett's still laughing as he wraps his arms around Rosalie's waist.

There was no sense in worrying the entire family so Edward shakes his head. "There's a new girl today. It's got the entire student body all worked up."

"Ah fresh meat." Emmett laughs at his own pun and Rosalie joins him, both blissfully oblivious to their siblings worries.

"I'd forgotten," Alice nods, "Chief Swan's daughter."


End file.
